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 What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
Posted: Wednesday February 23, 2005 5:59 AM EST
 Remember the old saying that you’d learn as a child when you were about to cross the street: “Stop, Look, and Listen”. There was more wisdom to this catch-phrase than meets the eye. This is about bringing ourselves into the present moment. Stop. Sit down, and be here. Don’t just do something - stand there, as the new saying does. Look. What are you experiencing? What do you notice around you? Listen. What do you hear, both around you in your environment and also in your heart? We may find many things arising in us - sadness, anger, fear, joy, pain, excitement. Whatever arises, try to be present with it. Until we can embrace what’s inside us, it tends to drive us without us even knowing. Bring it out into the open and see what’s there. Sometimes holding it all inside covers over the part of ourselves that intuitively knows what’s best, much like the dust and dirt on a window can cloud your vision. When we can see the accumulated stuff, we can begin to wipe the window clean and see outside - and inside - ourselves more clearly. Then, perceiving where we are and who we are in this moment, we can make better decisions. Wu-wei, the natural action, has the space to arise. Meditation, yoga, being out in nature, taking a bath, sitting in a park and watching the people and creatures all around you are some ways you can bring yourself back into the present. Part of the difficulty in allowing ourselves to be present and letting our own natural essence come forth is that it’s hard to let go of control. Control can come in different flavors, but two stand out in my mind: trying to control the outside, and trying to control the inside. We try to control the outside by mandating other’s behaviors, keeping everything predictable, sticking with what’s familiar. We try to control the inside by convincing ourselves that we know. It’s the belief that we can figure out how to get this situation back under control and protect ourselves from anything dangerous or unpredictable happening. We’ll insulate ourselves so well in our mind and in our life, avoiding any possibility of the discomfort of not-knowing what to do, by the attachment to controlling. Not Knowing may be uncomfortable, but it’s loaded with possibility. It’s unrestricted. Knowing all the time can become a huge defense field, deflecting off any unfamiliar experience. This can develop, if unchecked, into a haughty and dismissive attitude that pushes people, as well as new experiences, away. Once we let go of the need to know, something inside relaxes. We open ourselves to new ways of being, doing, and potential solutions. Ironically, this opens us to learning and discovering much more than if we had clung onto to needing to know. The truth is, we can’t always know what to do, and we can’t always be in control. If we insist on it all the time, there’s a heavy cost. It’s exhausting, both mentally and physically, for one thing. And it robs us of spontaneity and new possibilities. We stay stuck in our same old familiar but stagnant state. If we can let go of control and allow our ride to be a little bumpy, we might finally get into some new territory. Practice some relaxation poses, open yourself, and trust that if you let go, you’re still safe. Then, try some yoga poses that you’ve never tried before! Some other practices for letting go of control: for one day, don’t tell anyone what to do or how to do things; leave one full weekend completely unplanned, then see what happens; take a trip somewhere without making any reservations; take off on a drive without any idea where you’re going, and just spontaneously see where you end up; let someone ELSE drive the car! Practice the affirmation, “I let go, knowing that the universe protects me and provides for me.” See what happens when you begin to live your life based more in trust rather than in fear.
So step back and relax. You don’t have to know what to do. Something inside you, in your deepest self, already does. You can make the choice to step aside, trust, and let go. You can choose to allow a direction to arise that isn’t based on old fears and clinging to what is familiar and safe, by releasing and Being. Have you considered the possibility that it might even be fun? Source: http://www.awakeningself.com
Copyright ©2005 Constance L. Habash. All Rights Reserved.
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Let the Divine have the driver’s seat, and enjoy the ride. It just may take to you where you truly want to go.
